An introduction to working from home with children
Yesterday at 1.45pm will become one of those times that everyone in the country remembers exactly where they were and what they were doing for years to come. The next few weeks are shaping up to be a rollercoaster. Work lives and home lives will be combined in the most extreme way.
This my dining room table.
Normally, the first piece of advice I’d give to anyone wanting to work from home with kids is that you are going to need some kind of childcare. It’s incredibly difficult to work while minding small children. I’ve tried, and it usually ends up with me very stressed and very shouty. Trying to work while supervising a child under four is my version of hell.
But over the years, I’ve had a lot of practice at the working while parenting juggle, so here are my tips.
Establish if you’re an early riser or a night owl
You need to carve out some time when the kids are asleep. Like it or not, sleep is now your only form of childcare. For me this means working at night. I feed the kids, my husband puts them to bed, and then it’s work time. I can get a good few hours in once they’re in bed. If you’re a morning person, start setting that alarm. I personally find the mornings harder as I worry about running out of time.
Possible downsides and suggested mitigations
I find it hard to settle my brain down to sleep after working late, so I try to give myself a wee break by reading a book or having a cup of tea before heading to bed.
It can be hard on your relationship as your couple time has become work time. Try to only do this for a few nights in a row and then have a break to catch up.
I start to get really tired as you end up with very long days, so I’d suggest taking a break every few nights.
Embrace the kid time
You need to accept that you can’t work all day. The kids will revolt and you will end up a mess. I find it really hard to be both in work mode and mum mode. So, embrace the time you have will the kids. Commit to being a parent for a couple of hours in the morning. Set up an activity, make play dough, do some baking, art or gardening. I’ve found over the years that, if I give them a couple of hours of my full attention in the morning, they’ll be more accepting of my mixed attention for the rest of the day. This will also really help your headspace.
Possible downside and suggested mitigations
The kids don’t understand that you’re not going to play all day. If they are old enough to understand, try to share your plan with them. Get them to plan the activity for the next day.
Lock in some middle-of-the-day screen time
You are going to need to use screen time to get some work done during the day. I’ll be putting my youngest to bed for his lunchtime nap and setting the older two up with a movie. The key here is not to get distracted with chores, making food or anything else. Child-free work time is precious, and you need to make the most of it.
Possible downside and suggested mitigations
The kids fight over what movie they’re going to watch. This one is easy – every day movie day when you’re trying to survive in lockdown. Get them to take turns choosing. I usually let the youngest go first.
Drop your standards
You are not going to be able to do it all. Standards will need to drop. You need to decide what’s most important to you. Is it nutritious meals, up-to-date laundry, or a tidy house? What do you need to stay sane and what can you let go? Doing it all isn’t sustainable, so do what’s going to irritate you the most and let the rest slide.
Possible downside and suggested mitigations – none.
The next wee while is going to test our limits. Be kind to yourself. You’re not going to be able to work as many hours as you were. Try to let go of counting the hours – you’ll never get that to add up. Instead, try setting some realistic outputs. Each day aim to get one thing (or several smaller things) done. Focus on what you’ve managed to achieve, not what you still have to do.
Good luck!
Some older blogs that may be helpful at this time:
How not to lose the plot…most of the time
Keeping Little Miss Perfect in check
And one from Amy on how she manages to ignore housework