WWJD: Being pregnant with Jacinda and Julie AnneAA

I’m pregnant. I’m about six weeks behind the Prime Minister and in sync with the Minister for Women. This closeness has come with its challenges. My mum likes to remind me when I say I’m tired “Well Jacinda is running a country, and she seems to be doing fine.” I’m always tempted to reply with how this is my third child and she probably has a team to staff finding her appropriate food to eat. Finding food you’re allowed to eat is very important when you’re pregnant. But I stop myself, because that’s not the point.

What is significant about all of this pregnancy out on public display is the fact it is happening. Women in significant leadership roles are having babies while they’re in those roles. There are pregnant bellies attending national and world events. It’s tempting to get invested in how they’re doing it, and how they’re planning to keep doing it, but that isn’t what’s important. What is important is that they felt they had the choice. Being pregnant AND in a significant leadership role is an option. It’s exciting. Choice is exciting.  A woman can be pregnant and manage it how she wants to. She can make her own choices about what is best for her and her baby.

I chose to behave the way I was expected to when I had my first child. I finished work four weeks before the baby was born, and took maternity leave from my job. This wasn’t the right thing for me. Too much time in my own head sent me down a rabbit hole, and I ended up hiding behind my couch, desperately calling my husband home from work because I was losing the plot. The choice I made with my second child was very different. I worked right up until I went into labour and I continued working in a reduced capacity after the baby was born. I was so, so, so tired, but I was happy and my children were happy.

I don’t recommend pregnant women follow my lead, because that was just what worked for me. What’s really important is finding out what works for you. My suggestion is to think about what’s important to you, what’s likely to work for you, and to follow your instincts when making your choices.

And for myself in this pregnancy, I’m going to stop wondering ‘what would Jacinda or Julie Anne do’ and remember to focus on “what should Jasmine do,” because it’s up to us to make our own choices. And Jacinda and Julie are busy making sure we have even more choices in the future.