My favourite baby gift
When you’re up to your third baby, the gifts are a bit thinner. Those first babies really get all the glory. I was surprised when I received any at all. I feel like the third time around people are a bit wary of encouraging you to continue breeding. It was interesting when friends checked with me to see if I needed anything this time round. My request was for problems or challenges they were facing.
I know, I know - it sounds a bit weird, but hear me out. I was alone in a house with either a newborn, or a newborn and collection of other children. My life consisted of making sure everyone was fed, watered and clean. My brain didn’t really have capacity for any of the work thinking I was planning on doing. The void was being filled with endless scrolling of news sites, Facebook and Twitter. I don’t think those sites were ever designed with the intention that you read absolutely everything on them.
Then a friend popped in for a chat. She started talking about a conundrum she had. She’d been asked to do something that she really wanted to do, but was worried about how it’d impact her workload and family life. Half way through telling me about it, she caught herself. “Sorry, I don’t mean to talk about me. How’s the baby? How’s he going? He is so cute.” I was distraught. “No, please, carry on, this is great. This is just what I need.” And it was.
Women talking about their work-life balance problems and how they’re negotiating work situations are my favourite topics. It was like a little holiday from my baby world. We talked through the issues and found solutions. I waved her goodbye and happily returned to my baby bubble. I had no actions. I didn’t need to do anything further for her. She needed someone to listen, and my brain had the space to help her. She popped in a few more times while I was at home to give me updates. It was great.
After that, anytime anyone asked me what I needed I happily replied “Your problems, anything you need help thinking through. Just don’t give me any actions. I’ll forget all about them the instant you leave.” It was what worked for me. I get it’s a bit weird, but it’s about finding what works for you. What surprising things leave you feeling refreshed?