When returning to work, first start with why

When I talk to women about returning to work I find they base their plans on what they used to do. This makes sense – it’s what they know. What this approach fails to acknowledge is that so much has changed. What worked before is unlikely to work again.

I used to work late to make up for the time I spent chatting to a colleague over a long lunch. I used to wake up 45 minutes before I left the house because I only had to get myself ready. I used to wear delicate fabrics that little fingers can destroy. The idea of returning to work after maternity leave can be overwhelming if you think you’re going to be able to do it the way you did it before.

It’s a good idea to start by asking yourself some important questions.

Why are you going back to work?

This is the first question you need to ask yourself. Is it to earn money? Is it to keep your career on track? Is it because you need something for you? Is it a combination of these? Working out your reasons will give you a decision-making framework for the way you want to work.

If your goal is to earn money, then work out the most efficient way to do this. Which of your skills will you get paid the most for? Are you better off working off full-time, because childcare tends to get cheaper the more you use it? Would it be better for you to work outside your partner’s working hours so you don’t have to pay for childcare?

If you goal is to keep your career on track, what’s the best way to do this? Is it going to be better to go back to work now, or is this an opportunity to grow your skills through study? Is it an opportunity to start something new? I started working for myself while on maternity leave. We’d already accepted that I was going to be earning less, so it felt less of a gamble. I also found I had more time to think and process, but less time to actually complete work.

What is your capacity?

Once you’ve determined why you’re going back to work, then you need to establish your capacity. Is it realistic for you to work full-time? If it doesn’t feel like it is realistic, but you want or need to work, how can you buy help? If you don’t want to pay for childcare, how many hours are you able to work? Be realistic about this. What’s the plan if your child gets sick? Do you have others you can rely on? How much could they help?

Another thing to think about – is it going to drive you nuts if the house is a mess? Amy and I have very different thoughts on this. If the house is out of control, I feel out of control and stressed. I can’t concentrate, and I get cross with everyone. Amy doesn’t. She has an incredible ability to focus on the job while ignoring the mounting pile of laundry. You need to work out which one of us you are. I tried Amy’s way and nearly lost my mind. I wish I didn’t care but the reality is I do, and I need to factor this into my capacity.

Change is inevitable

Once you’ve worked all this out, you need to accept that this is what’s going to work for now. One thing I’ve learned is that everything keeps changing. I think I’ve tried pretty much  every combination of work and childcare. They were all the right option at the time. As your needs and your kids’ needs change, so does the solution – so don’t get too hung up on finding the perfect solution. Focus on the right solution for now. 

In short, forget about what worked in the past. This is a whole new world now. It’s not better or worse, it’s just different. You need to be clear about what you’re trying to achieve and remain open to how you get there.