The simmering pot of frustration
My ten-year-old son asked me yesterday “why is Dad working so much more than you when you both have jobs? It doesn’t seem fair.” I told him that’s just the way it is at the moment. And this is true, but the fire of resentment is building in me, as I suspect it is in households all around the country and the world.
Part Time Professionals was built out of need for the ultimate flexibility. My time and career were slipping away while I was raising my children and I needed to find a solution. I needed to be able to work in a completely flexible way that fitted around my children and family. My husband is very supportive of this, but he has a job that at times needs him to drop everything and work. This is particularly true in times of crisis. He is currently classed as an ‘essential worker’.
What this means is that he’s still trying to work as normal in this state of chaos, and I’m left to fit in where I can. To be honest, this isn’t going well. I am a full-time mum who’s trying to complete all my work with no childcare and a husband who’s trying to continue as normal. I am trying to stomach the fact his job is ‘essential’ while the essential role I have leaves me knee-deep in washing and tied to the stove. My inner feminist is silently screaming.
It’s hard because even though this isn’t a gender issue, it feels like one. It’s the nature of our jobs which has created this traditional gender role split in our household. I suspect what is happening in my household is probably happening in households all around the world even without the ‘essential worker’ factor. My sister was worrying the other day because her husband had done more of the childcare that day and she needed to do her part to give him a break. I’m not sure that as many husbands would be worried if the situation was reversed.
So what’s the solution? I’m pretty sure it’s not to have a giant fight (which is really what I want to do at the moment.) If I go back to the basics, Part Time Professionals was built out of a need for me to work in a way that allowed me to raise a family and grow my career, and this still holds. The business required zero change to adapt to this lockdown environment because it’s structured for complete flexibility. We work towards outputs not hours, so none of the part-time professionals are worrying about making up required hours as part of their juggle. Our workers are getting their work done in the gaps of time they can carve out, as they’ve always done. Our clients are happy and the Part Time Professional model is working even in these turbulent times.
It feels like the whole world is trying to figure out a new way to work. Outputs are being valued over hours because the traditional working day is being forced to adapt as parents juggle. Children are crashing video calls all around the world as work and family life collide. My hope is that once this is all over, some of this flexibility remains and I manage to keep the lid on my simmering pot of frustration.
In the meantime, here’s a blog I wrote a while back on managing work when it threatens to overwhelm you. And remember when you’re listening to instructions to be kind, don’t forget that includes being kind to yourself.